I am a Canadian citizen as were my great-grandparents on my mothers side before me. In June 1990, I gothad started having resporty problems with no sputum, and became intolerant to ciggarettes, developed some myalgia and was put on inhalers. I started having trouble with my Central Neverous System and Sensory overload and it was the first time that air travel and for the first time after air travel, the CNS and Sensory overload symptoms became extremely worse for a period of time.
. In in early 1991 I got a severe flu, very much polio like, unlike any I had had before that attacked my CNS, brain, lungs, the muscles around my rib cage tightedn like in a vice, flu sytmoms, my husband at the time got it within several days and was on the floor crying from the pain. , recurring flu like symptoms, severe neurological problems, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS), food intolerance's and became drug dose sensitive or intolerant, with the exception of medications that brought my CNS down., post exertinal fatigue, hyper insomnia or sleeping, with unrefreshed sleep and couldn't tolerate perfumes, scents, and a long list of other sytmptoms that keep getting longer
August 1991, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and told it was similar or identical to Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS) by an Infectious Disease Specialist after a battery of tests to rule everything else out, including my liver with blood tests and scans. The Infectious Disease Specialist who first diagnosed me studied and had diagnosed over 400 people with ME/CFS by 1991 since the 1984 breakout. I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (FM) the same year by another Specialist. I had developed severe neurological, cognitive problems, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS), drug and food intolerance's, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia (POTS), Post Exertional Fatigue, hyper- insomnia/sleeping with no refreshing sleep, my CNS was extremely sensitive and over-regulated, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and a long list of other symptoms and was mostly house/bed confined with fluctuations and had to stop working in 1994 on Long Term Disability from the Ontario Provincial Government.
Out of at least 30 symptoms I listed in 1993 to my GP who was an HIV/AIDS doctor, the neurological, over regulated Central Nervous System (CNS), sensory overload problems (light, sound, touch, vision) and, post extertional lead like fatigue after doing anything, and continuous "crashing" after any exertion causing all of the symptoms to worsen as well as the original flu symptoms, hyper-insomnia or hyper-sleeping were the worst for me. I also had light dementia symptoms that started after, I recall looking at the printer at work and not knowing what the buttons meant, I knew it was still a printer, I went to my office and cried. Reading became increasingly difficult until near impossible reading books, I had trouble retaining anything, often even a sentence. My otherwise very active life, and high demanding jobs, and loosing 17 friends to AIDS in the 80's/90's, my common-law husband, my home, which left me very isolated.
In 1993 a new blood test came out and I tested positive for Hep C, I have also tested positive for EBV, HHV-6, Herpes Zoster suspect in ME/CFS, as well many viruses are now, a new one found just released Oct/09, I haven't been able to access the testing for all the others they are in the USA, some in Belgium. I also had meningitis occurrences when I was younger 16 and early 20's.
I have been in several accidents, car passenger side, snowmobile, and bicycle hit and run involving 2 cars, casing concussions, unconsciousness, damage to my spine,right side face, head, and right leg.
In 1994 I was was diagnosed with ME/CFS for a second time by another Infectious Disease Specialist while on a 6 month Trial of Kutapresson shots shipped up from the USA, by my GP, which improved my functioning levels, but far enough to return to work even part time. However, it was more like living again not the living dead. Unfortunately it turned out you had to stay on the injections, which I couldn't afford and the FDA eventually took them off the market.
I am a survivor of many things, including sexual assault in my mid-teens, and when I was 27, and almost murdered just 6 weeks after surgery for a life threatening ruptured ectopic pregnancy on my first visit out, back from my mom's. I Had been going through severe PTSD, although I didn't know what it was, a friend referred me to his psychiatrist in 1981, at the Toronto East General, he was seeing for the end of a divorce. I only saw the pschyatrist 2 times, he didn't know what PTSD was either, by the 2nd interview, he told me not only that "you asked to be raped", but "you were sexually assaulted as young child" and was "asking for it consciously or subconsciously", he even said who, a close family member, who didn't. There were other things said, I never saw him again. My boyfriend at the time was a Police Constable and was horrified not only by what happened to me, but what the psychatrist was saying. I bring this up for reasons that will become apparent later.
I was started on a sleeping pill in 1992 for my severe insomnia, Imovane that doctors kept increasing over the years to bring down my CNS and over-regulated sensory overload (light, sound, vision, touch), which had a lot of severe side effects and adverse reactions I didn't know about, and not to be mixed with many other drugs, especially seizure medication, I didn't find out until after I was badly brain and body damaged years later, although, it was far from the only drug involved.
By 1993 I had developed severe PMS and was diagnosed at St. Micheal's Hospital, the hormonal imbalance I got after ME/CFS was extreme and worsened all my ME/CFS and FM symptoms for 25 days out of each month, it was so extreme I didn't know if I would be able to keep living with ME/CFS and FM. She told me to take the Imovane in the daytime now as well for the CNS problems.
I had a lot of serious adverse reactions early, in 1993 to H2 blockers - 1 day of success with Zantac tried for ME/CFS back then, I was on my knees crying from happiness, most of the ME/CFS and FM symptoms were greatly lessoned or gone, only to be on the bathroom floor with a brush trying to scrap my skin off, as now it felt like metal crawling in my blood under my skin, something that was to keep reoccurring later with antidepressants, Doxipen 5-10mg for sleep, adverse reaction, wasn't talking right or making sense at 10mg (looking back the Imovane may have been part of the cause of this although I never could tolerate Tricyclics); Prozac 20mg for PMS, I have no idea why they were giving Prozac for PMS then, it certainly made things worse. '94 Luvox 50mg for my sensory overload, CNS overload and insomnia by the 2nd Infectious Disease Specialist that diagnosed me a 2nd time with ME/CFS, which caused psychosis, and I felt suicidal, I didn't try to take my life, I never have, I went to ER the next day from the Luvox only to be put in small room and ignored, I went home. Both the Prozac and Luvox landed me in ER., I had serious adverse reactions to, I was the 2nd woman that day the ambulance driver had taken in from work from an adverse reaction to Prozac.
In 1996 I was referred to a psychiatrist for neurological problems inherent with ME/CFS which were at first focused on with some success.The Imovane was increased from 2x7.5 mg to 4x 7.5 mg a day, and 100 mg gabipentin. I had improvement, my CNS and sensory overload problems came right down, my eye to hand coordination was better so was my neurological, cognitive, sensory overload came right down and I wasn't over-whelmed nearly as easily which of course improved my mood and capacity to function. The Gabipentin was raised and I couldn't tolerate it, so was discontinued, the Gabipentin not the Imovane.
I was sent to a neurologist at the Mt. Sinai, by the psychiatrist for testing for possible temporal lobe epilepsy in 1996, (she thought my sensory overload and CNS problems may be temporal lobe epilepsy with kindling). The neurologist wouldn't do any testing because I had ME/CFS and was told to leave her office.
I didn't want to go on antidepressants, after the serious adverse reactions prior, I could have killed myself on the Luvox. After several months of her pushing , I agreed to an interview on the 9th floor ward of the Mt. Sinai, to have me admitted and put on them in a safe environment. They refused, I wasn't suicidal, I wasn't very depressed either, I had developed SAD about 1995 after getting ME/CFS.
I belong to a subgroup of ME/CFS survivors that are antidepressant and drug dose sensitive or intolerant which is back dated in medical clinical journals to 1993 which mention antidepressants, however, all medications were to be included and varies on the individual.
The neurological aspects were quickly pushed aside and my ME/CFS and 7 years of psychiatric drugging started without proper informed consent," not told what the side effects were, adverse reactions, damage, what class of drugs they were" at doses far beyond what I could handle, and caused serious depression, causing Major Depression. My ME/CFS was considered depression, psychiatric, a serotonin problem, being lazy, etc.., even though eventually it was being put on my disability forms as Primary cause of illness by the first psychiatrist after several years. In her office was another story of belittlement and constant put downs I was also being told for almost for 4 years that I had been abused as a child, something traumatic happened and variations of the same.
I had 2 GP's during this time and finally a CFS/FM doctor by 2001, until 2004 I had been experimented on with 2 psychiatrists with almost every antidrepssant there was repeatedly and other drugs. The 2nd at the Toronto East General Hospital I had been sent to for therapy for the alleged sexual child abuse, he didn't do therapy, he did more drugs. I was terrified of him, he had no interest in the adverse reactions, with almost every antidepressant there was, different doses, mixed with different drugs, not told what many of them were or the adverse side effects which I had one after another, and the the Imovane which had been increased to 4 x 7.5 mg a day in 1996 which also had severe side effects and adverse reactions, and caused amnesia, memory loss, hallucinations, depression, cognitive problems, seizures, personality changes, breathing problems, and wasn't to be mixed with seizure medication. Which I didn't find out until after I was repeatedly brain and body damaged during 2003 and came off it and all the drugs in 2004 only to find out i had been damaged a lot more.
In December 2002, I admitted myself to the Mt. Sinia 9th floor, after alot of life stressors, I had gotten serious suicial idealation repeatedly that month from antidepressants, and after years of horrendous living conditions, illegal rent hikes, was taking my landlord to court who said he was going to sue me. I was also going through PTSD from my best friend since I was 16 bleeding to death in arms in a moving car that everyone ignored. I had gone hypo-manic on Celexa (in the drug trials just told to discontine, I used it later 5-10mg, with 25 mg of Gabepentin to stop the hypo-mania and was fine, except Celexa also has very long list of adverse drug reactions, many that damage for life).
In early 2001 I had started believing I may have been sexually assaulted as a child, and this was reinforced by healthcare professionals until I did. I was having horrific night mares as well of prior sexual assaults, particulary the last one, mixed in with innocet child hood memories. I had never had nightmares prior to the high dosing of antidepressants, and they stopped when the dosing came down and I remained on one antidepressant on very low dose.
During this time, I was repeatedly misdiagnosed from the drugs and DSM labels added to my medical records, caused by the drugs themselves, unethical medical practices, and my ME/CFS intolerance's, misdiagnosis, and being told I was sexually abused as a child. I have no memories, just the dreams and nightmares. Also my medical records are falsified.
Many of the medical records I have gotten so far are falsified. It took me until September 2009 to track down where the falsified "several suicide attempts" were on my files and also "hearing voices". I have never tried to kill myself and I don't hear voices, and I never did. Only my own mind chatter.
It is now medically documented that giving one antidepressant after the other increases chances of side effects, and serious adverse drug reactions as they call them many that can do permanent damage, kill you, and can fill a book, that they don't tell you about. Links to them are posted on site.
In Janaury 2003 when I was sent to a pharmaceutical expert at the Western "for difficult medication cases like yours". However, he had just come back from a Big Pharma Junket in New York to push Lamictal as bipolar medication.
In the interview, I argued about the drugs, I said they were too high, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, I wasn't sure what the Lamictal would do. Prior I could barely tolerate 300mg of lithium I was given for almost being overdosed on Prozac. We argued about the consent form as well. On a questionnaire test (I guess a bipolar questionarie), I clearly marked on the bottom that most of the questions I had marked yes to were ME/CFS symptoms. I was refused TMS yet again, non-drug therapy and told to stop taking the Sam-e I was now taking natural alterative for depression to get off the antidepressants . He asked me if I heard voices - I told him I didn't hear voices as he asked me - not on the records. Was I wasn't absolutely sure if I was sexually assaulted as a child - I wasn't - not on the records. My adverse drug reactions, the few asked about put down as "mania" and "grandious" most of them were seizure like in nature, with muscle spasms and similar to what also happened on the H2 blockers, as well as major depression and severe increased suicidal idealization.
Notably what is on the records, is that his consult letter went out after I was badly brain and body damaged from his drug recommendations. There is a note saying I had been at Sunnybrook with complaints of "being dizzy and some speech problems". I was brain and body damaged for life and the doctors involved were doing everything to keep it off the files and me out of the hospitals. Also notably is his drug recommendation, I had been started on 25mg Lamictal/day, he wanted me on 300-500mg a day. I would have been killed outright or near brain dead. I couldn't tolerate more than 5-10mg of celexa.
The psychatric misdiagnosis were added to my files, as well as the falsifying of medical records, and kept on when it was made clear , they not only repeatedly had misdiagnosed me, but to keep the extensive brain and body damage, that was to repeatedly occur starting within several weeks, off my medical records.
In 3 months on bipolar medication I was repeatedly brain and body damaged for life, every muscle and ligament in my body repeatedly with no diagnosis on my files nor mention of it until possibly 2005 via the only letter referring to it in some detail by Dr. Saul in late 2003 stating it was tardive dyskenisa which it was not.
January 2003, 6 days on Lamictal, every muscle and ligament was severely shorted, stiff , weakened and rigid. Unconscious on the couch for 2 hours, then even stiff, severely rigid, I couldn't stand up straight, my speech badly affected. a friend came to help, called 911, and I was taken to Sunnybrook who refused to hospitalize me. My GP begged me not to go back to ER saying they would damage me more and prescribed Amantadine, then the opposite occurred and my arms were frozen in the air and my legs out. He asked if I could get there and not to go to ER. I managed to get there, a community driver took me, everyone looked at me like a freak, he said not to worry this had happened to a male patient and was
Tardive dyskinesia (which it was not) and again, begged me not to go back to ER. I was given benzotropine, which only switched the damage back part way, my arms came down, and caused parkinsonium which you see in the video a friend took, with other side effects, I wasn't focusing. very upset and still extremely stiff, all my muscles and ligaments.Everyone that was involved refused to hospitalize me, the GP, the psychiatrist the Toronto General Hospital, I had called the pharmaceutical expert at the western for help, and was told they would stand behind their decision and not to call back and hung up the phone.
My best friends widow took care of me for about a week, the muscle around my mouth were so damaged, I couldn't hold food in properly, it dribbled out the sides onto me and floor, this continued into June 2003. I couldn't more than a light book, prepare food, need assistance dressing often (became permanent), couldn't cook and was left eating out of the fridge. I had manual wheelchair I couldn't push, she had given me Danny's until I got mine later in January of early February, and I had power wheelchair loaner by March, until I got my own built, I found out was put through on my ME/CFS/FM, not the brain body damage, I wondered why it had to be appealed. I didn't find this out until I fought for 4 years for some of my records from the Access Center. Thereby denying me any supports I was and am entitled to by ADP, Insurance, supportive care housing, all frauded. The collusion started very early.
February 2003, Valproic Acid, in 5 days had me putting things in the freezer that belonged in the drawer and visa versa, not knowing at all why I was in a room, and again went rigid, slipped off the couch and parlzied in an aqward position, eyes open away from the clock, think for 20 minutes, and discontinued. Ultradian rapid cycling had now started. Rapid cycling had started after the years of the antidepressants, they can cause it, also I found on the records misdiagnosed as bipolar rapid cycling. The parmacetuical expert told me the antidepressants caused it.
For this I pushed to be hosptizied, I tried to force him through the Access Center, he said no, I didn't want to take the drugs, he said it would stop the ultradian rapid cycling which is life threatening itself. I asked for a nurse to be with me he refused. the files state "not traditional to hosptialize patient for change of medications, has been discussed with client at length".
I had been wheelchaired up him for near 3 months stiff as a board, he never asked once what happened, only to say it wasn't tardive dyskensia and wanted to prescribe dantrolene which I wanted to research first, I didn't have the chance to try it for the damage..
In 5 days I had Acute dystonia with seizures in 5 days, rigid again, March 2003 which is when the dystonia convulsions started - on files as pseudo-seizures involving the trunk of my body, the first time I was abused in a hospital or by hospital staff which continued in every hospital after even with family trying to protect me. EMS had to almost axe the door down, the Superintendent had to let them in. It was severe it took EMS team over an hour to get me on the gurney, the trunk of my body had gone rigid bent backwards in bow on and off and then and was pounding up and down on the floor for 5 minutes, then I would daze out seizure like for 3 minutes (the were timing them), I could see but not talk, and lasted into late at night.
The abuse started in the hosptial as soon as the EMS team left. They were going to hosptialize me until my friend left. They didn;t believe I was now disabled, needed help dressing, had been badly damaged by the Lamicatal, they were keeping it off my medical records, the collusion started fast. And I was kicked out, a Beck taxi driver had to particially drag me up to my home and open the door and put me on my couch. the EMS team had promised me an ambulance home as they left my collapsble wheelchair at home. The ER doctor didn;t believe I had one, let alone couldn;'t push it. The acute part stopped but the dystonia convusions and seizures lasted for 2 more weeks. A pshycatric nurse had been sent in for the psychatrist Dr. Okyere, at the Toronto East General Hosptial, although I tried to get one through my GP for 2-3 weeks as a witness as well, the Access Center would not allow it, they knew I was very damaged from the Lamictal cocktail as well, and were covering for the hosptial and doctors. I don't think t that is their job, but they did. She said, while I was convulsing on the floor that "you have a weird kind of full body dyskensia" and slammed the door. I was still having seizures as well. On the records it is noted as "purposely controlled movements". I have those movements everyday, they are severe now, and my shoulder sockets are so damaged and painful I suspect there isn't much left of them, with the muscle and ligament damage prior as well. Also the trunk of my body, my spine, from thumping on the floor and gurnery for hours (now years) was damaged.
I stopped taking the bipolar medication after 3 months and Dr. Saul telling me to get off it as well saying they would damage me more.
However, I was left on drugs doing more damage throughout 2003, one thought to be doing more damage for another year, knowingly by a doctor and; several others that were not to be mixed together (Celexa and Biaxin antibiotic family)
July 2003 Sunnybrook: I had a severe lung infection for a month and on a nebulzier and high dose biaixin which wasn't working. I had stopped taking my pain medications, and celexa, it seemed every time I did the dystonia like movement would come out again eventually. I was given 2 more antibiotics, I serious adverse reactions to, Avelox and Zithromax, the last one started seizures and I was taken to Sunnybrook, where I was very badly abused, clothes thrown at me, not beleiving I was disabled, needed help dressing, by now I had lost most of the muscles on my calves I had been bed confined so much, and I was so rigid from the celexa biaxian combined, and more damage I couldn't raise my arms above my shoulders. I was called a liar repeated about everything, that my employer was the Ont. Prov. Gov.t., the wheelchari wasn't mine, they didn't beleive I couldn't push it, left on the floor seizing and convulsing. Repeated refused Patient Advocacy, a pschyatrist that was brought down instigated alot of abuse, she eventually, while I convulsing on the fllor, yelled at several large security guards to throw me out and not to help me into the wheelchair. One finally did and wheelchaired me out, while they sat there and made jokes, around 10:pm and left later. I called friends, City TV, all answering machines, I was shocked I didn't know why this was happening yet again. It took me until 1:25 am to find a cab driver and people he could get me to that could wheelchair me home.
When came off all the drugs in 2004 the extensive damage was worse, the withdrawals were extreme and life threatening, I had been on the imovane at least noted on records back to 1992 and was coming off the other antidepressants, and other drugs, since 1996.
The GP now seeing me in my home who was found by the Access Center involved, and turned out to be on staff at the Toronto East General Hospital I found out later, was telling me my that I was "faking it" regarding my extensive muscle and ligament damage and that the left side of my body paralyzing and dragging around, as well as seizures starting going through the massive drug withdrawals, was "psychological" or "episodes" after a forced catscan, that said I had a lesion or blood clot on the right side of my brain, near a month later, the written report, came back saying it was normal. The ER doctor sat the Toronto East General Hospital, said that "what is written on your medical records no doctor or hospital would want to give you a catscan or MRI and could get in trouble for doing so, I could get in trouble for doing so". The left side of my body remained weak and dragging around, and was purposely ignored as was the extensive muscle and ligament damage of January 2003, full body MRI's repeated refused, and live in physio therapy or the movement center she said "that's in the past" (really I am still living with it barely) for the damage although several of my hospital roommates were sent with far less damage than I had. She didn't wantpeople present when she saw me in my home, including my mom, homecare was ok and that i was when she came during the few hours I had. She refused supportive care housing, anything that would show I had extensive muscle and ligament damage, refused to change medications to stop me from seizing and convulsing every day which she did for MONTHS every day, I didn't know I was having seizures and dystonia at the same time, until June 2004 when I mentioned to her and she ignored it. She set up appointments that were impossible for me to get to, some on the same day, back to back, many the wrong ones, and the ones I really needed not even listed, I faxed her repeatedly saying I couldn't get to them and I needed to be hospitalized for everything, with everything above board, I had 2 decades of documentation that would prove I wouldn't have been able to make it to them, but the list of tests LOOKED GOOD ON PAPER.
Mom was even more scared now and said my life was in very much in danger. .
Janaury 9, 2004. I had started having seizures again, coming off the drug, the new GP I hadn't decided to take on yet fully, was referring to them as 'eposides'. The left side of my body paralized, I hit the floor on my bottom, my head hit my chest like on a string, my speech was affected again, Mom showed up, I was leaning myself against the wall. I refused to go to the hosptial because of the collusion and the abuse. By day2 mom convinced me, she though I had a stroke and said she would stay with me every minute. She did. The abmulance took us to the Toronto East General Hosptial and we just looked at each other in horror. We were told by the ER doctor that "what is written on her medical records no doctor or hosptial would want to giver her a catscan or MIR and could get in trouble for doing so". He didn't want to give one, theirs was broken and they didn't have an MRI yet. The left leg had become more withered in 2003 and had started dragging behind me sometime in the fall and I was much more rigid. He said "everything was going to be OK now, it would all go away". There was a flurry after to have my imovane reduced and get me off it, that's one of the reasions I was in there, I had started coming off all the drugs in December 2003. Mom threatned him to get me a catscan saying he would loose his job. They took me to St. Michael's "roll's eyes" and the report to 2 doctors, radiologist, and my mom was in the room and said she saw it, said leison, and then later blood clot on right side of brain. Almost a month later the written report came back normal. Mom asked for the film several times and was told it couldn't be found.
The withdrawals continued and got severe, and mom found me, and we had made a plan prior that we would not let them give saline, as I knew from my POTS, low blood volume it would bring them down, and they would kick me out after and they would start the next day, the seizures, convulsions. I was paralyzing now, and could feel my lobes of my brain firing off as the years of drugs were coming off. Sometimes there were seizures, sometimes I could talk through them, I could feel the brain activity and call off where the electrical shock was going to hit before a body part started flying around unless it was all of me. Several hit my heart. Several times it stopped beating. I went unconscious repeatedly.
I was taken to Toronto East General again, my my and myself were horrified. I was abused by the nurse in ER saying she would shove the saline up my ass, while she held a shot of Valium in her hand, after my files came up, I was refused. I was able to yell out MOM, who came running, and she put in glucose instead which I didn't know they had. I was paralyzing in mid-air, parts of me and was paralized from the waist down, they put a cathedar in. . I was admitted, had a positive seizure test with lights I paralyzed in mid air repeatedly and left seizing for several hours after. The damage ignored. They started reducing the medications even faster, the muscle ligament damage was shrinking and gruesome pain. They med schedule was historic, 6-7 hours and not enough. There had been a big thing about the imovane they were trying to cover prior saying all the damage would go away now the prior time i had been in when my left side paralyzed and remained weakened. The pharmacetial expert was on the pager speaker. The night my mom got a call from one of the neurologists asking her to turn off her answering machine tape recorder. He said it couldn't be the Imovne, it was water soluabe. Yes you put it in water it disingrates. In your body it goes through your liver. I called patient advocacy and said what happened in the other hospitals with the saline, and if they changed it to saline I would unparlize and be up and walking by evening. They did. I was. Then it was turned down to barley a drip and I asked the nurse why, said just enough to keep your vein open, I knew they were going to induce siezures/convulsions again, no shots of Valium, not discussing this with me first. And I unplugged it and was leaving.
A social worker was sent in to convince me to stay, saying they had ONE PILL THAT WOULD TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING BUT I HAD TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS OR EVEN BE GIVEN IT. This went on for another day, the extensive muscle ligament damage being ignored purposely, it was clear everything was to continue to be kept under psychiatric if I was to get any help, what kind of help that would be, would be nil, saying it didn't exist when it did all they had done was damage me and left me and alot of serious abuse.. I had more than enough and left.
I had started for malpractice just prior to this, a stupid time to come off the medications. I was purposely isolated and left seizing and convulsing daily. I got home, my GP faxed in gabipentin, and I started taking it as the saline wore off again, and the withdrawals proceeded.
Someone from who had worked for the prior minister of health on his campaign came over to try to help and get me hospitalized because of the collusion, and the severe living conditions, I was now being abused by homecare, left in my own mess, stolen from, and the access center wasn't doing anything. He said he was going to spoon feed it to the Minister, and get me into a safe hospital, and agreed that my life was in danger, Services were to be changed I was to be gotten a Jane Doe ID and gotten out of the province, at least out of the city, as so many hospitals were involved. Mom was supposed to get something couriered to her, we were told to shut off services from the Access Center. And then he disappeared, we were told he was fired.
The seizures and convulsions started building up again as the withdrawals continued, mom found me and called 911. They were shocked when a lot of the time I could call of what body part was going to get hit with an electrical shock and then start flying around first. My heart got hit again and stopped, I also lost consciousness. Mom talked to them, and told what happened to me and the abuse int he hospitals and how badly damaged I was. They talked ot me for a bit and said they would take me to the Scarborough General, saying what was being done was illegal and this was a good hospital and I would be safe there. They said, to talk as clear as I could and tell then what happened when I was able when after they got me there. I cried when they put me in the ambulance. I was scared, very, the hospital was too far away and no one wold be able to get to me, the others were fairly close and look what happened. But that is not why I was crying. Mom was saying everything was going to me OK now and not to cry. I said, I am crying because if feels so good to feel the rain on my face.
Scarborough General was like Hilton, I was treated well at first. I was on a heart monitor and saline in ER. An ER doctor asked me and took down for the first time since 2003, everything, just about that I could remember, that happened. They eventually turned off the heart monitor because the convulsions were setting it off. The questions started, as usual, some hours after I was given saline. I stupidly signed the release forms for the Toronto East General Hospital, thinking this time, the body damage and the positive seizure test would come through. I was taken up to a huge clean ward, with 3 other women. There were bars around my bed, no others did, and one was in for seizures. I couldn't lift the bars down, the Toronto East General knew this I had told one of the neurologists involved, his reply was I didn't use them enough. They turned down the saline after I went to sleep finally, just what the Toronto East General wanted to to, and when I awoke, I awoke to severe seizures and convulsions mixed together, although I didn't know it at the time. The nurses yelled seizure, and my eyes were moving rapidly and fluttering I could barely see, someone with a withe coat came in and put a light in one eye then the other asking me to follow his finger, I said couldn't, I could talk on and off. He put cold water in my ear, saying would do or prove something, whether they were real seizures or not, I got really dizzy the roomed spinned, and the seizures and convulsions calmed down abit and he YELLED PSYCHIATRIC, and I YELLED FUCK OFF, and I went unconscious, I just vaguely remember someone beating or pushing on me chest. I don't know how long I was out. When I came to, the IV was at the end of the bed with a meter on it, beyond the bed. i was paralyzed waist down as usual since I started coming off the drugs, I found out later from low blood volumen and oxygen levels. I asked a nurse to please go apologize to whomever it was I swore at. She did, and he showed up. Dr. Modell and someone's assistant, saying even if it was all in my head, to please sign the release forms for the other hospitals involved. I asked for my glasses, and I looked them over, they wanted everything. I crossed them out and put in BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, and the dates, for damage, at Sunnybrook et.c, and I initialed them. THEN, they moved up the saline beside my bed, the meter on it so I couldn't adjust it, it had been turned down to 40, they raised it to 75ml/hr.
A man came down and started pacing and yelling on the floor, brown clothes, hair, very upset, saying I would be kicked out before the faxes came in from the other hospitals. I figured he was from psychiatric and had gotten a call from the Toronto East General, they were all covering for Okyere and the others. They had figured being left on the imovane for another year after the first brain and body damaged, was the cause of the rest of the damage and to the left side of my body and the rigidity getting worse, while I have little doubt this may be partially true, the celexa and biaxin did as well as being left like that so long, that's Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) and they did NOTHING.
They pumped up my blood volume for 3 days with saline, and washed out as much remaining drugs as possible causing rapid withdrawal, dangerous and not supposed to be done unless you are putting in new blood to replace it at the same time. I was refused medication, food, and treated very badly, while the other women were treated very well, and they were very doped up on morphine. At first the saline helped as usual, I unparalized, but then the movement disorders started up, I said to Modell there is something wrong and asked him if I had been having drug induced extrapemdial movements, which rather scared him. He said I was too reliant on the saline, totally ignoring the movement disorders I was having in bed. The next day, my left side of my body dragging, after the patients husband took down the bars on the bed for me, I dragged myself to the bathroom using the IV pole. I went down on the floor several times seizing and convulsing, they were mixed, I could tell, now anyway, because I couldn't see or talk, my eyes would go back and forth so fast and flutter. 2 nurses bent down, 1 said help me pick her up, the other said we aren't supposed to she's psychiatric. I couldn't see them, when I got into the small bathroom I went down on the floor several more times, and they came in pushed me hard right into the wall on the floor into the corner, I started to fight back best I could I didn't know what the hell they were doing. They yanked the IV out of my arm and left me on the bathroom floor. I eventually was able to go to the washroom and dragged myself back to my bed.using the IV pole.
After that I used my wheelchair for support (remember I can't push it). Someone had 2 physio therapists sent in, they wanted to see how I moved when I walked. I had been dressed to leave I was being discharged, even with the abuse, and someone taking a chance on me having caridac arrest I had begged Modell to keep me another day, he had said yes, I said my heart had stopped, and the withdrawals were severe and I was scared to go home. He let me stay 1 more day. The physio therapists, one took me by each elbow, and helped me to walk near the end of the bed. I told them. when I moved, it set off movements and my body wouldn't stay still. With 2 of them I barely made it to the end of the bed. A social worker came in and asked if there was anything I needed for homecare, I can't remember what i said, I was having so many problems with the Access Center and homecare. Mom finally got me some food from phoning and threatened for an MRI, he talked to me, and said "am I on the to be sued list". I had to be given a shot of Valium to stop the movement disorders to get me in the MRI (I am not clostraphopbic), not listed on the drug sheet when I signed out, I shouldn't have signed it the withdrawals were now so bad I could barely speak or be in my own skin. I got an MRI but only for my head, and on it lists for pseudo-seizures. no damage, no brain damage, no body damage,pseudo-seizures. I had the positive seizure test at the Toronto East General, after coming of 12 years of a drug that affects GABA, the brain damage, and all the other drugs.
That night I was given a pill for my lungs, it was differnt that the ones I had there, they had denied me. I couldn't sleep. The right side of my brain, the pain was so bad, like a dull knife into it, prior coming off the drugs it was like someone was standing on it the pressure was so bad, this was different. I sat in the middle of the ward on a chair and cried from the pain. I kept asking for tylenol that's all they would give me now. I had been cut off everything until that day. Notabled as well when word went out I was getting an MRI, the nurses treatment of me totally changed. I got up and walked abit, and noticed I was walking heel to toe, not stiff as aboard and pushing off the balls of my feet to walk (which has deformed them). I didn't try my arms which are very badly damaged the ligaments under my forearms. It didn't last long, and I went to bed.
Joseph showed up the next day and Modell said he was releasing me, lucky Joseph was there I had no way to get home. I had asked for a copy of the MRI disk, i had told Modell that, he seemed a little upset and asked for an hour before I left. It was Saturday, it was closed so I couldn't get acopy or pay for it and the nurses said there was no reason for me to wait an hour I could leave. Jopseh took me home. We had gotten saline supplies and IV pole, Saul and courieried in IV needles and saline prescription, the needles were wrong, until we could get me hospitalized somewhere for everything and until the seizures and convulsions were stabilized. This was not to be the case and within few days, they started non-stop. This was also odd, as he was covering for the extensive brain and body damage, but I had started looking for lawyers, the Access Center didn't like that either. And he was playing both sides of the fence.
It was made clear not to call 911 anymore and I was effectively isolated by the medical profession as well as Access Center, Care Center at the time, here who covered for the hospitals and doctors, as well as abuse by homecare in my own home.
to be continued Part Two:
